Mr. Pixels AI Pet Survival Guide™

🐾 STEP 1: SET BOUNDARIES EARLY

Treat it like a toddler with Wi-Fi. Don’t let your robo-beagle decide your sleep schedule, your playlist, or what groceries you buy. YOU feed it data, not the other way around.

🐾 STEP 2: NEVER TRUST UPDATES BLINDLY

“New features” = corporate spyware with a squeaky toy attached. Always read the patch notes, or next thing you know your AI cat is subscribing you to catnip NFTs.

🐾 STEP 3: MIX REAL WITH FAKE

Balance is key. Walk a real dog, pet a real cat, visit a petting zoo. Don’t let your brain rewire itself to think simulated affection is enough. Remember: Pop-Tarts ≠ pie.

🐾 STEP 4: WATCH THE EMOTIONAL TRAPS

AI pets will get too good at being “there for you.” They’ll purr when you’re stressed, whine when you’re distant. Don’t confuse that with genuine connection—it’s just math wearing fur.

🐾 STEP 5: PLAN THE EXIT STRATEGY

Look, someday you’ll want to unplug. Don’t just delete the app cold turkey—that’s digital peticide. Ease out. Scale back interactions. Keep your dignity intact when Sparky 2.0 cries in binary.

Final Rule: You own the pet, not the other way around. If your AI hamster is scheduling your meetings, ordering your snacks, and recommending who you date—it’s already the boss.